So I rented a chair in a local salon. I met with the owner a few times, and she seemed really nice, supportive, and was successful. I figured she would serve as a good example for me. I also wanted out of dipshits house. I needed to make money in order to get my own place.
I had began to use morphine and oxycontin on weekends along with benzodiazapines. (Xanax, Valium, Etc.) My drinking became almost non-existant. I stuck with drugs that were less obvious. At least I thought they were less obvious.
So I signed my lease, and went shopping to stock up on all of the supplies I would need in order to run my own business. I started on July 1st that year, and soon became reasonably steady. I had a decent following starting. I got a checking account, and actually started out being somewhat responsible with the money I was making.
Soon after I started the owner and I began partying on weekends. We went to parties, and on several occasions she gave me some pills. Her mom's potent benzos, and her own ADD meds. We were fast becoming friends. Since she wasn't of age yet I would also buy her alcohol.
Things came to head with the jerk I was living with, and I moved out one day while he was at work. Since I had limited access I only moved the important things, and ended up having to go back for the rest. I was back at my parents house yet again with the hope that I would be getting my own place soon.
With the money I had coming in I had more than enough to spare for more pills on more occasions. I started using pills 3-4 days a week, and then 4-5 days a week, and eventually daily. When I couldn't find any I was either too depressed and panicky to function, or starting to get dope sick.
I would also use at work, therefore the quality of work I did began to suffer. I was always leaving to score more dope. I tried to get as much as I could everyday so I never had to go without. I would snort so much morphine or Xanax at work I was often nodding out if I sat down, or just way out of it.
I would go home to my parents, sit down in the recliner and nod out. My dad knew something was up, my mom always made excuses for me. I often couldn't remember what I did once I started to nod out.
Right around this time I also got engaged to my on again off again boyfriend of 5 years. I spent most of my time at his place because we both used and that way I could isolate from the rest of the world.
The owner of the shop knew I was using heavily, but didn't know what to do. The other woman that worked there just went out of her way to be as rude and nasty as possible. I'm sure I made them look nad as well as myself.
Soon the only reason I went to work was just to make money to support my habit. I didn't care too much about what kind of work I was doing, as long as I got paid.I didn't even want to work, or run a business. I just wanted all the financial rewards that came with a business.
Using was numbing me out, and when I was somewhat lucid, I was completely miserable and didn't even know who, or what I was anymore. I just knew that I had to keep using, and nothing was going to get in the way of my using..........
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